MoreOfYou_LPavlov-eBooks Read online

  Copyright © 2020 Laura Pavlov

  More of You Playlist:

  Go Easy ~ Matt Maeson

  Way Down We Go ~ Kaleo

  Novocaine ~ The Unlikely Candidates

  Not Losing You ~ Maddie Poppe

  Possum Kingdom ~ Toadies

  Miracle ~ Chvrches

  Violet City ~ Mansionair

  Don’t Give Up On Me ~ Andy Grammar

  Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

  Aristotle

  To my favorite girl, Hannah Pavlov, and all the Jade’s in the world…

  Be strong. Be fierce. And never stop chasing your dreams.

  Love you more, Mom xo

  Contents

  More of You Playlist:

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  A Love You More Rock Star Romance Series…

  Chapter One

  Acknowledgements:

  Other Books by Laura Pavlov

  Chapter One

  Jade

  Music boomed behind the stage where I stood. The walls vibrated from the loud cheers coming from the audience. It was still hard to wrap my head around—how quickly Exiled’s fanbase had grown. “More of Me,” the song Cruz wrote, had skyrocketed to number one on multiple charts. Their tour sold out within an hour of tickets going on sale, and we’d spent the summer traveling across the U.S. from venue to venue. I kept a journal of our travels, and Cruz and I tried to do one touristy thing in each new location we visited depending on time. He always made a point to find a library in each city for me to see. As much as he made fun of my nerdy obsession with libraries—he managed to find one everywhere we went.

  The music for “More of Me” started to play, and my stomach dipped. It always did when he performed the song he’d written for me. Cruz liked me to sit on the side of the stage where he could see me during his shows, so I sat in a chair and wrote in my journal as I listened.

  Things had changed dramatically in the last two weeks, and the tension was palpable when the band wasn’t on stage. They did their best to hide the turmoil when they performed, but I had a front row seat to what was going on. Tory, Adam’s now ex-girlfriend, used to sit with me during the shows, and I missed my partner in crime. Now I sat solo. She’d been gone for more than a week, and nothing was the same. Adam was miserable, even if he was too stubborn to admit it. The day she’d left was horrible. Adam told her to leave and she’d been inconsolable. We’d spent two nights at a hotel in Nashville, and Tory had stayed up late drinking with a few friends from high school who attended college not far from the venue. Cruz and I usually went to our room after the shows. Adam had been exhausted and turned in before Tory was ready to say goodnight to her friends. He woke up early the following morning and realized she hadn’t come to bed. He found her in Dex’s room with all her friends and a pile of white powder on the table, and apparently some on her face—and he’d lost it. Tory had never done drugs in front of me. I think she had too much to drink and got caught up in the moment. But Adam was not okay with it. He and Dex didn’t get along before this happened, so things had gone from bad to worse. And Adam was Cruz’s best friend, so Cruz and Dex’s already tumultuous relationship was way past the point of no return.

  The roar of the crowd pulled me from my thoughts, and I realized the music had stopped. I looked out onto the stage to see Cruz smiling at me. He motioned for me to come out there, and panic surged through my veins.

  “Come on, baby. They want me to sing to you,” he said, his voice sexy and raspy through the microphone.

  I shook my head. My legs froze in place. The thought of going out there in front of all those people terrified me. The lights were flashing, creating all sorts of designs in my peripheral vision, and I heard my boyfriend say something to his fans about giving him a minute. There was laughter and whistling, as he jogged toward me. He pulled his headset off and a wide grin spread across his beautiful face.

  “Everyone wants more Jade,” he said, melting my heart just like he always did.

  I laughed. He was ridiculous, but in the best way. Cruz Winslow made me feel like the most important person on the planet every time he looked at me. And it would all come to an end soon. This was the last show I’d be at for a while, as I was going back to school in a week.

  “What are you doing? I can’t go out there. I like watching you from here.”

  “Do you trust me?” he asked, his head cocked to the side, and his honey-brown gaze locked with mine.

  “Always.”

  “Come on.” He took my hand and led me onto the stage. I wasn’t sure how my legs were moving, but they were.

  I bit down hard on my bottom lip and used my free hand to grip the back of his T-shirt, tucking myself behind him. The cheers from the audience were deafening and I glanced over at Cruz’s brother, Lennon. His gaze locked with mine and he winked. He really was a different person on stage. It’s where he came alive. I’d grown so close to him, and he’d become more like a brother to me over the last few months.

  “My girl’s a little shy, but I told her you wanted a little more Jade, am I right?” he said, and the crowd went crazy in response.

  “Yeah, trust me. I fucking get it. I can’t get enough myself,” he teased his fans, and the cheers and screams only grew louder. Luke came out of nowhere with a stool and Cruz helped me to sit down. I covered my face with my hands and tried to remain seated, but I wanted to sprint off the stage.

  The music started again, just as it had when I’d been in my little cocoon just moments ago when he’d halted the show to come and get me. The audience quieted, and my boyfriend started to sing. He pulled my hands away from my face and looked only at me, and for a moment I forgot where I was. He sang to me often in the quiet confines of his room, and for the next few minutes, that’s exactly where I convinced myself I was. Just he and I. He moved closer, stepping between my legs, and his hand caressed the back of my neck while he sang the last part of the song to me.

  And she asks me…

  Why would you want more of me?

  She doesn’t know just what I see.

  Beautiful girl with eyes of jade.

  Shines so bright can’t find the shade.

  Heart so pure even in her pain.

  In the drought she is the rain.

  When he finished, his eyes remained locked with mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and settled my head against his chest, hugging him tight. He pulled me from the chair and my legs came around his waist, just like they always did. We just didn’t usually have an audience whistling and screaming in the background. He carried me over to my hideaway beside the stage and set me down on the stool.

  “You okay?” he whispered against my ear.

  I no
dded and pushed up to kiss him before he ran back on stage. Cruz had come into his own these last few months. He was convinced this wasn’t his passion, but he was a natural. He’d written so many new songs as we traveled on the bus, and whether he believed it or not, he was an amazing singer and songwriter. We spent as much time together as possible, as we both knew things were going to change when I went back to school.

  Telling Cruz that I’d decided to return to Northwestern in the fall was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I’d chosen myself over him. And it certainly wasn’t because I loved myself more than I loved him. I didn’t. I loved him more than anything. More than I’d ever known possible. But I knew I was doing the right thing, even if my heart didn’t agree. I needed to stay true to myself for us. For our future. But the thought of not seeing him every day—it did something to me.

  He hadn’t been fazed when I told him. He said he thought I was doing the right thing, and we’d make the most of the time we had together. He was hoping to walk away from Exiled next year and he’d move back to Chicago until I finished school. I didn’t know how it would all work, and I wondered if him leaving the band would be more challenging than he thought. Exiled was an international sensation now, and AF records was scheduling a worldwide tour for them. How would they just suddenly replace Cruz as the lead singer without it being a problem? He didn’t seem worried, so I tried to do the same.

  I’d been home to visit Dad twice. I talked to him and my two best friends, Sam and Ari every single day. They loved seeing photos of our travels, and I was enjoying this time away from the regular stresses in life. Luke hired me to handle all the social media for the band this summer, as it was an actual position they needed, and it allowed me to fulfill my promise to my father to work. Cruz didn’t want me handling the merchandise during the shows, because he didn’t think it was safe. He was as overprotective as my dad.

  I pushed to my feet when they ran off the stage. It would only be for a few minutes and they’d go back out and perform another song or two for their encore. Dex walked by giving me one of his creepy smiles. He was a predator. In every sense of the word. He exploited others for his own benefit. He knew exactly what he was doing when he came between Tory and Adam. It was premeditated and malicious. He hated that I didn’t give him an opening to mess with me and Cruz. He was the worst kind of narcissist, and his sudden taste of success and fame didn’t help the situation. Adam ruffled the top of my head as he moved past me, and Lennon paused and kissed me on the cheek.

  “Good job out there tonight, girl. You did it,” he said with a laugh.

  “I didn’t have much of a choice,” I teased.

  “Move,” Cruz snarled at his brother before he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.

  Lennon chuckled as he walked away, and my hands tangled in my boyfriend’s hair.

  “Hey,” I said, trying to catch my breath when he pulled away.

  “You mad at me for making you go out there?” he asked, nipping at my ear.

  “No. You’re impossible to be mad at.”

  “Love you,” he said, leaning down to kiss me one more time before he ran back out on stage.

  I stood and watched Cruz sing the last song in his dark skinny jeans, a ripped tee, and combat boots. His hair was a disheveled mess, and he was the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen. His chiseled jaw and full lips made him all the more appealing. But it was his honey brown eyes that always did me in. He glanced over his shoulder and I gave him a small wave. He chuckled as he sang, because for some reason, Cruz seemed to think I was funny even when I wasn’t trying to be.

  “Hey,” Luke said, coming up behind me.

  “Hi. Great show tonight.” I turned to face him. I liked Luke. He was more than just a manager, and he always looked out for Cruz, which I appreciated.

  “Yeah, they killed it. You gonna miss all this?” he asked.

  “I am. I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

  “Nah, you’ll be fine. You’re doing the right thing, Jade.”

  “You think so?” I asked as cheers and screams filled the space around us. The band was wrapping things up.

  “I do. You two will be fine. I took care of that little favor you asked me for, and he’s here. He set up in one of the spare rooms in back. He’s supposed to be the best in town, and I checked his references and saw his work. Seems like a talented dude. But when Cruz loses his shit, don’t blame me,” Luke said with a laugh.

  I leaned forward and hugged him. “I won’t, I promise. Thanks for doing this. I’ll meet him after the show.”

  “Anything for you,” Luke said as Dex came running toward him and picked their manager up off his feet.

  “Put me down, asshole.” Luke pushed back and almost fell on his way down.

  “I’d love to pick you up, princess, but I think it would piss off your broody ass boyfriend. What do you think?” Dex invaded my space.

  “If you touch me, you’ll be very sorry,” I said, glaring at him.

  “Oh yeah. What are you going to do to me, Jade? You like it rough, huh?”

  I stomped my foot hard on the top of his and he stepped back with a laugh.

  Cruz walked up and looked between us. “What’s going on? Is he bothering you?”

  “So protective. How are you going to watch her when she’s gone?” Dex’s smile resembled the Joker’s. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

  “Shut the fuck up,” Cruz said, taking my hand and leading me down the hall.

  “Just ignore him. He wants to get a rise out of you,” I said.

  “He’s such an asshole. I don’t like him messing with you.”

  “I can handle myself. Dex doesn’t scare me,” I said.

  He stopped in the back room and grabbed two water bottles. The guys no longer chugged a celebratory beer after shows because Adam wasn’t speaking to Dex. Cruz didn’t mind because he’d cut way back on his drinking this summer. I think he learned that he couldn’t beat me at a single card game when he was drunk, but he claimed it was because he wanted to set a good example for his brother. I loved how much he cared for Lennon.

  “You shouldn’t have to handle anything when it comes to Dex. I swear to Christ, I’m going to kick that kid’s ass someday. And I’m going to enjoy the hell out of it.”

  I laughed. “Hey, I have a little surprise for you. Will you come with me?”

  “More Jade, I’d go anywhere with you. You need a little something right now?” He pushed me up against the wall and kissed me hard.

  “Oh my God, no.” It was difficult not to laugh through my words, as I forced him to look at me. “I don’t need a little something, I get plenty of that.”

  “Then where are you taking me?” he asked.

  I took his hand and led him into the room at the end of the hall. “I have a surprise for you.”

  “And clearly it’s not sex. Just for future reference, baby—that’s all I ever need.”

  I laughed as I pushed the door open. “Hi, you must be Skully?”

  “I’m not into threesomes. I don’t share,” Cruz whispered against my ear.

  The large tatted man stood and offered me a hand. “Yeah, you must be Jade.”

  Cruz glared at him. He was ridiculously jealous, even when there was no reason to be. I rolled my eyes. “This is my boyfriend, Cruz.”

  “Nice to meet you, man. Great show. Luke gave me the best seat in the house.”

  “Cool. Who are you and how do you know my girl?”

  Skully laughed. He was much older than me and Cruz, probably in his mid-forties. He put his hands up and smiled. “Easy tiger. I’m a married man with three little hellions that my wife insists we keep. I don’t have time for anything more.”

  “You do know you’re ridiculous, right?” I said to my boyfriend. “Skully is a talented tattoo artist and I’m getting a ta
ttoo.”

  “The fuck you are,” Cruz said.

  “Excuse me?” I crossed my arms over my chest, and Skully chuckled before walking away to give us a minute.

  “Tattoos are painful, baby. I’m not watching someone hurt you.”

  Me and Skully both laughed at the same time. Cruz had gotten a few tattoos while we’d been traveling this summer, and his arm was fairly covered in ink. And he was telling me not to get one?

  “I’m not a child, nor am I afraid of a little pain. I’m getting a small one,” I said, taking his hand and leading him over to see Skully’s work.

  “Dude, I’ve been doing this for a long time. She’s going to be fine. It’s a small tat. If you think you can’t watch though, you should step outside. I don’t want you making her nervous.”

  I tried to cover my smile. Skully was not taking Cruz’s shit, which I’d come to learn he actually liked.

  “Fuck that. I’m not letting her do it alone. What do you want to get?”

  “A small music note, on the inside of my wrist. A little something to remind me of you,” I said, dropping down to sit in the chair next to Skully.

  “That’s sweet. And how did you find Skully? No offense dude, just want to make sure you know what you’re doing before you touch her.”

  “I hear you, brother. Trust me, Luke researched the shit out of me, but here’s some of my work.” Skully handed him a binder full of the art he’d inked on people over the years.

  “This is impressive.” Cruz studied each page.

  “Thanks. Mind if I check yours out?” Skully asked, quirking a brow as he glanced at Cruz’s arm.

  “Not at all.” My boyfriend tugged his shirt over his head, and my cheeks heated as I took him in. He was stunning. Chiseled abs and strong muscles covered in beautiful colors with meaningful sayings and drawings.

  “Nice work. Who did them?”

  “I had them done at Dark Angel back home,” he said.

  “Yeah? I worked with the owner, Chris, for years. We trained together before I moved out west. Did he do this one? More Jade?”